Strength of Longing
by VforVicodin
Summary: Plagued by recent events, Ion Fortuna closes his eyes and falls asleep, only to relive heartache and face the ultimatum that the Dietrich of his dream world presents him. Rated T for some violence. R&R! :


My first angsty non-yaoi or shounen-ai fanfic that I haven't lost due to my computer .

It's mostly about Radu and Ion, but contains a bit of IonxEsther (but only in Ion's mind :P). Basically this is what happens when Ion falls asleep with too much on his mind - he has endless nightmares about his long-lost comrade.

Ion glanced up, toward the sunless sky, mind still plagued by recent occurences. He had not experienced so much phyisical and mental trauma since the night he delivered his message to the AX, who ungratefully turned him away with gunfire. _Stupid Androids...They're even less human than the Methuselah. _He shook his head. No, that's not how he was supposed to describe the difference between the Terrans and Methuselah. There were no humans and monsters - everyone is human. It doesn't matter, Ion thought to himself as he reflected on Esther's words. _I don't think any less of you because of who you are..._Her words echoed, piercing his thoughts, fraternizing with all hostility toward the Terrans embedded in his thoughts.

He couldn't bring himself to stop thinking of her, feeling that if he stopped, his promise to never forget her would not be worth a thing. Flashes of a bloodstained cell streamed in front of his less impulsive thoughts, and his throat itched painfully as he recalled his raging thirst for blood. Ion saw her neck drawing nearer to his sharp fangs, and the Methuselah had to sink them into his lower lip to relieve himself of the vivid memories. Nostalgia made him long for blood, but Ion's compassion and near-Terran warmth kept his interests elsewhere. Not only did he want for physical contact, but his cheeks exhibited other Terran attributes, flushing a deep red when he thought of the lovely hair that matched the deep shade of burgundy apparent on his face. A frown etched on his pale face, as Ion struggled with his emotions. All he'd ever felt was the warm glow of friendship, which never revealed itself until he lost his tovarisch, Radu. _Radu...I'm so glad you didn't really betray me. _Ion's glare deepened, and his fists and teeth clenched with the vivid image of what he would do to Dietrich if he ever got close enough to sink his blade into the cold, soulless body of the man who took Radu away from him. The Rosen Kreuz augmented Ion's hatred for Terrans to a level that his body and mind could not take. His not so refined social skills were nothing more than a hinderance, and all he could do to stop himself from sinking his fangs into the throat of the nearest Terran was to think of the best of them. He had recently learned not to judge a book by its cover, but the Methuselah wisely decided for himself that most covers did reveal quite a bit about the book within.

Ion paced through the halls and back to his room, where he rested himself upon his bed, unsure how to occupy his free time. He had duties to perform, of course, but he was given a week's time to himself to collect his thoughts and emotions. Ion needed the time to cool down, but he was still a child and required more than relaxation. Granted, he was a mature child, having faced more than even a grown man should ever have to, but the sudden decrease of excitement bored him, and the young vampire soon grew weary. Ion dropped his head against his pillow, allowing his light blonde hair to mask his sleeping face, and drifted off.

_''Tovarisch...'' _ Ion did not stir.

_''Tovarisch,''_ continued the calm, collected voice. Glancing every which way, Ion became panicky.

"Radu! Where...where are you? I can't see you!" Ion squealed. He walked out further, finding himself suddenly ankle deep in a vast body of water. His eyes darted everywhere, searching for his supposedly deceased friend.

_"I'm right here." _Ion spun around, water splashing up against his knees, and met his comrade face to face. His eyes widened, and he threw his arms around his friend. _''You have not embraced me before,''_ Radu said calmly, with an air of confusion.

''I-I thought I'd lost you. Radu...,'' choked Ion through tears he never would have admitted to producing. ''Y-You're b-back. Radu...oh Radu...'' Radu cast his arms around the Methuselah, returning the embrace, and pressed his chin against his shoulder, perfectly to whisper in his ear.

_''Will it be me, or the Terran?''_

''Wh-what? Radu?'' Ion mumbled, awestruck with a mind numbing combination of confusion, impending betrayal, and a fierce blow to the heart.

''_Will it be the priest, or the friend who's stayed beside you for longer than you can remember?'' _Radu glared straight into his soul with his piercing eyes, forcing Ion's to narrow.

''What friend?! You're not Radu, you monster!'' Ion growled behind clenched fangs, semi-relieved to presume that this was not his friend. Feeling Dietrich's presence behind Radu's face, he launched himself toward the man. His subconscious compassion and respect for Radu's body hindered his claws from tearing right through him, but it did draw blood from Radu's shoulder, which ran ever so slowly through his hand, as he gripped his fresh wound. Ion's vision faded slowly to mesmerizing spirals, and he saw Radu smirk once as his eyes closed for one final blink before the landscape turned to a blinding white.

''_Welcome back, Ion,_'' Radu mused as Ion slowly gained consciousness. He was instantly startled by the unnanounced change of scenery - he found himself staring down at moss, mud, and branches, into which his boots sunk with a muted sound. He returned his gaze up to Radu, praying with all his heart that he'd awoken from a dream, and he was back to stay. Ion's optimistic desires were cut short by the penetrating hiss of a silver bullet skimming past his cheek, delivering to him a threatening warning. He knew once again that Radu had not found his way back to him.

''I HATE YOU!'' Ion howled, plunging the small dagger he kept buried in his clothing deep into Radu's pulsing chest, sinking in every once of hatred, wrath and malice with the blade. The pounding veins on his brow appeared and flared fervently with the impact of the weapon and the target. Radu fell to his knees with a sickening thud. ''Good bye, Dietrich.''

Ion, suppressing regrets and any such emotions began to walk away, leaving his traumatizing past behind his, dead in a rainforest, but the back of his neck tingled as he felt the cold sting of forged steel tickling his skin. _No..._he thought. He spun to face his assailant, expecting to find Radu with a knife to his throat - instead he met Dietrich's frosty stare and playful demeanor. Ion's shock spread like a cancer throughout his body, paralyzing his movement, and freezing the pained expression of horror on his face.

''No...no...n-NO!'' he sputtered, collapsing under his weighty regret and emotional pain. His emotion crushed him with guilt, closing his lungs to the refreshing air surrounding him. The downward spiral of the atmosphere fell with him though, reacting to match his state of mind.

''_That's right, Methuselah. You viciously killed your comrade. And how does that make you feel?_'' Dietrich toyed, absorbing Ion's pain as if feeding on his suffering. A mischievous grin developed on his face. Dietrich was evidently pleased with himself, having crushed Ion's soul into agony and anguish. His grin became a genuine smile as he graciously extended a gloved had to Ion, who still knelt, his heart crumbling at the sight of Radu sprawled dead in the mud. Feeling about to pass out again, Ion's tears flooded down his face, diluted the blood the trickled from the bullet that had only grazed him. ''_He was only trying to warn you...and you went and stabbed him. You Methuselah sure are vicious._'' Ion growled, but his consciousness was already slipping away from him. He clawed madly at the ground around him, and then at his skull as he struggled to stay awake.

''Raduuu! R- Radu...I don't want to le...lea....ve. You....'' Ion moaned, collapsing upon Radu's corpse.

''_Do you want me to bring him back?_'' A distant voice offered the groggy Methuselah who still could not lift himself from the ground.

''More than anything...'' Ion responded with no thought, only desire.

''_Is that your wisdom or lust?_'' the voice warned.

''I want him back,'' he demanded, succeeding in prying his tired eyes open to find the source of the voice. The haze in his vision faded after a few blinks, and he found himself buried in the grass of a rainy field, with nothing in sight for as far as he could see. Ion sharply drew in all his breath, and jumped to his feet at the source of the voice, which he recognized once more to be Dietrich. He lunged at his throat again, only to be stopped in his place by the expression of confidence on his enemy's expressioned face.

''_That's awfully rash...aren't I bringing your friend back?_'' Dietrich chuckled. Ion grimaced with brutal indecision, but hardened his glare in a matter of seconds.

''That's impossible!'' he exclaimed, his voice tainted with disappointment. ''No one can do that.''

''_Take into effect any and all possibilities, Methuselah. Don't underestimate the power of the lost technology._'' Ion bit his lip. He couldn't help but be persuaded by this beautiful temptation.

''I can be strong for Radu...strong enough to know a liar when I see one,'' Ion grunted, withstanding his all-too-real pain flowing through his body and soul. Temptation offered him too much. Much more than he could have ever hoped for, and in a way that made him recall his healthy respect for the line between obtainable and unattainable.

''_So strong that you shield yourself from good fortune? That's merely selfish,_'' accused Dietrich, with an unmistakably manipulative smile.

''On the contrary. My morals, though originating of the mind of an alleged monster such as I, dictate that greed, whether it lead to opulence or mental gratification is what is selfish. Leading a modest life for the sole purpose of living, and not succumbing to the desirable but infeasible lies that dogs like you have to offer.'' Dietrich's smirk flickered and faded at Ion's audacity, which truly made him flustered.

''_Society does not favour ingrates._''

''Society also does not favour roguish, unctuous curs such as yourself. Leave me be,'' Ion firmly stated. Dietrich tilted his head to the side, and his smug grin reappeared, simultaneously with the spontaneity of his next move. His gun pointed itself at Ion, presumably at the hand of Dietrich, but it was much too fast for the naked eye to trace, and fired a trio of silver bullets at the Methuselah. In his last instant of conscious stability, Ion reaffirmed in his heart that Radu, up above, had watched him make the right decision. Nothing else sounded through the air but a bang and a hiss.

Ion awoke in his bed. Not with a jolt, not with a whimper, nor a cold sweat. No rush of fear or terror, nor pain in his heart. He awoke, with the sound knowledge that he'd been strong. Merely a child, and living now without the man for whom he'd had the most trust and love, but strong.


End file.
